Answers to Prayer

God has many facets. He refuses to be put in a box, and anytime we think we understand Him and His ways, we quickly find out we are wrong. Isaiah 55:8-9 reminds us: “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” In addition, God is always doing something new. In Isaiah 43:18-19 God declares, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” After Oliver died, I saw life as a struggle where God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we want Him to and yet is with us and helps us. I had gotten one big no and lived expecting other nos. I still prayed and expected God to work, but I was always gritting my teeth, whitening my knuckles, and expecting the "even if you don't" situation to arise. Thankfully, God wouldn’t leave me there. The thing that stands out to me the most that He used to open my eyes again to all the different ways that He works was my time in leadership with Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). There I began to see again that while God does use suffering to bring about His glory and will in ways we don't understand this side of heaven, He also longs to answer our prayers with big, resounding yeses.

So fun to get to fill this post with photos of all the new things
God is doing in Kentucky this spring!

Yes to Prayers I Wasn't Even Praying Yet

The way God orchestrated my service with BSF answered prayers I wasn't even praying yet and showed me God still had a purpose for me. My family and I moved to eastern Washington one year after Oliver died. We wouldn’t have chosen on our own to leave our support system at this time, but being a military family this is what we do. We were also looking forward to the move and being pushed out of some places of grief into something new. The town we were moving to had a BSF group for women and children. My daughter and I were interested in joining as I had participated in BSF for one semester in Alaska when Oliver was one year old and really enjoyed the opportunity to study the Bible together with other women. We ended up attending BSF for all three years we were in eastern Washington, studying Genesis, Matthew, and People of the Promise Kingdom Divided. I have shared previously about how God used the study of these Scriptures to bring truth and healing to my heart (https://carryingsheaves.blogspot.com/2024/02/harvest-from-gods-word.html).

After being a participant for my first semester back at BSF, I was asked to be a leader of one of the discussion groups. I loved the opportunity to serve other women and also be served as I participated in the weekly training and discussion time with the other leaders. It was a refreshing break from homeschooling and a safe opportunity to start serving more again after Oliver's pasing. I came back as a discussion group leader my second year of BSF. At the end of my second year, the leader asked everyone to consider being open about where we would serve in the upcoming year, especially as we were praying for the opportunity to expand our preschool program and would need more leaders there. I sent her a Slack message, which said I was open to serving wherever she needed me in the next year. A few weeks later she sent me a message asking if I would pray about supervising the preschool program for the upcoming year! I was really surprised to be asked to supervise something, especially outside of the current area where I was serving. But God used my previous words of commitment to serving wherever I was needed as well as some additional confirmation to help me say yes to this new position.

I found so much joy being with the young children each week. When Oliver died, my husband and I became more thankful than ever for his Sunday school, Awana, and homeschool Bible teachers who worked diligently each week to teach him about God and how to love and serve Him. Serving in the preschool program ended up being an opportunity for me to say thank you by participating in this work as well. Working with children was painful right after Oliver died as it was a reminder of all I had lost, but in this new position I found children still brought me joy and happy memories as well. It was like digging up treasure that had been buried for a time after Oliver died. Looking back, God was answering prayers I wasn’t brave enough to pray about what my healing could look like with a big YES. It was like God was saying, "YES, I still have a plan for you, and that plan is good and will bring you joy!"

Yes to Working in Mighty Ways

Serving in the preschool was so different from serving women for me. I think as a discussion group leader, it was easy to feel like my study and preparation were enough. Sure, sometimes people responded differently than I expected or sometimes we covered challenging topics that I wasn't 100% comfortable with, but for the most part I prepared each week, was taught and mentored during the leader training time, led the discussion as best as I was able, prayed for God to fill in the gaps, was happy enough with the results, and moved on with my week. But the preschool program stretched me! Each week was so different, and we never knew what to expect or how the children would respond. There was crying for mom, hitting friends, forming enemies, attempts to escape the classroom, an inability to sit still or keep their hands to themselves, shyness, one million questions and comments, distractions, illness, a need for volunteers, etc, etc., etc., all while we were attempting to share the Word of God! In the preschool program, there was no pretending that we had everything together. Instead what is true everywhere was especially obvious here: it is God who works in the hearts and minds of those who come to study His Word.

As the preschool supervisor, I got to pop into all the classrooms and see God at work. Just two months into my new position, I made this list of some of these displays of God's provision and power:

• a four-year-old pronouncing Jeroboam with the confidence of a preacher 
• a classroom of children singing Holy, Holy, Holy at the top of their lungs 
• a group of two-year-olds, still uncertain about what to do, patiently sitting in their chairs and whispering “Jesus” to Bible story questions
• a three-year-old moving from arms, to lap, to chair alongside, to sharing about her pumpkins as she gained confidence in her classroom
• a group of ten infants and toddlers, about five of whom show up in different combinations each week, who have grown comfortable enough to start throwing things and who are so close to having a structured Bible time each week
• volunteers who arrive just in time to comfort an upset child
• a new children’s leader joining us just as we were getting weary with unexpected absences

Observing God at work in the lives of His littlest children reminded me how much God cares for us and how He is always at work for our good, not just in suffering but also in joy!

I also got to see God answer specific, desperate, bold prayers. Week after week, leaders and volunteers would need to call in sick at the last minute, and I would pray, leave messages or texts for everyone I knew to contact, and then pray again. “God, I am short people for today. I've contacted everyone I can and haven't heard back from anyone. Please send someone to help us so that the children will be safe, cared for, and have a chance to hear the Word of God.” And He would. Time and again someone would call me or text me back out of the blue and fill a need. I also saw God answer prayers for specific leaders who had concerns for that week’s teaching and for the ability to reach specific children who were struggling with something in the classroom. And I saw God answer our prayers for children and their moms to feel loved and supported. These prayers seem small when I type them out, but they were prayers that were important to me, and it brought me healing to see they were important to God as well, and that He was delighted to say YES. With each yes, I saw again the God described in Romans 8:32: “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”

My walking buddy kept stealing my camera's
focus.

When we pray, we can know God always hears us. He even hears the prayers we don't know to pray yet. He is always with us and always at work, whether His answer is no, yes, or not yet. His resurrection power is at work within us, and He is steadfast and faithful. He is also doing new things and working in new ways that we can't predict. I continue to struggle with expecting God to only work in challenging ways in my life, and yet He continues to surprise me with blessings and joy around every corner as He reveals new facets of Himself to me. "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21