Homeschool Day in the Life with a 14-year-old

I am writing this post to link up with Simple Homeschool's Day in the Life Series (simplehomeschool.net).

Today is an average Wednesday in February. Wednesday's are one of our at home days. My alarm goes off at 5:40, and I actually wake up and avoid doom-scrolling on my phone, something I have been struggling with since Christmas break. Instead I pray, complete my Bible Study for my class later today, and work on my blog. My husband is already up, exercising, and getting ready for his day. My daughter likes to get up early too. Her alarm goes off at 6:30, and she reads a devotional I got her for Christmas (New Morning Mercies for Teens by Paul David Tripp) and a book of choice to herself (Strangeworlds Travel Agency by L.D. Lapinski, my daughter loves fantasy, and as she tells me about this book, I can tell all the worlds have really captured her imagination). Around 7:00 we all migrate to the kitchen, where I pack a lunch for my husband and we all gather a simple breakfast for ourselves.

During breakfast we watch CNN 10, a ten-minute current events news program for middle and high schoolers. Today's program is an interview with two astronauts staying on the international space station longer than expected and a segment on static electricity. We move to the couch and read a few books together:

A Red Pencil - a novel in verse about a family fleeing their home in Sudan in 2004 by Andrea Davis Pinkney
All Creatures Great and Small - a memoir by James Herriot, a veterinarian in a farming region of England in the 1930s
Peculiar Treasures - a Biblical Who's Who by Frederick Buechner

It doesn't look much like "morning time" did years ago, but I still enjoy reading aloud from a variety of genres before starting the rest of our day.

Quite a sunrise this morning while we eat breakfast!

The real star of the show!

Next we do science. This year we are using Berean Builders' Discovering Design with Earth Science. Some days we do this together, and other days my daughter uses the audiobook to complete it on her own. Today I read the next section aloud while my daughter fills in the note pages that I create for each section. I just started doing this, and it really seems to help with remembering the material, being able to study effectively for the test, and hopefully learning effective note taking. Usually science is one of our favorite parts of the day, but today there are lots of definitions to write down and some conversion factor problems to practice. My daughter gets frustrated and shows some teenage angst. I try not to get frustrated in return. Not our best moments. We eventually get through the section and complete the comprehension check and relevant chapter review questions aloud.

She recovers and starts on her math test. After some false starts this fall with trying Algebra 1 with her cousins, we went back to doing math on our own with Denison Algebra in November. I debated about starting the program with Algebra 1 or going back and reviewing pre-algebra. I ultimately decided on pre-algebra, which she is flying through. 

After she finishes her math, she starts working on her independent work for a co-op that we attend on Mondays. She does her writing assignment (revising some descriptive prompts that she drafted over the last two weeks), completes her geography of Africa atlas assignment, and reviews for her upcoming quiz on African countries. Some days she also does work in Paragraphs for Middle School by Don and Jenny Killgallon, which helps with her grammar and spelling as well as her writing and is literature-based, WIN. While she is working, I hang out in an adjacent room, answering any questions she has, creating the notes page for tomorrow's science reading, correcting her math test, paying some bills, making a phone call, and drafting this blog post. Then I get ready for the day and take the dog out for a walk around our neighborhood.

Usually by now books and schoolwork are scattered all over the floor. 
Today they are on the counter as I use them to write this blog post.

It is almost lunchtime when I return from my walk. I putz around the house for a bit. My daughter has finished her schoolwork, reads for a bit, and works on a painting from the book Acrylic Landscapes for Beginners, which my mom got her for Christmas. She almost always has an audiobook going while she works on her art (she is currently listening to Medusa by Katherine Marsh, she says I would find it too fantasyish for my taste, but would enjoy the quality friendships between the characters). We each warm up some leftovers for lunch and watch some college softball highlights. Afterwards we play a few rounds of "Uno No Mercy". Then I do the dishes and join my on-line Bible Study Fellowship class (bsfonline.com). I miss getting to meet in person, but on-line has been a great option to work around our busy homeschool days. While I am in class my daughter practices some softball pitching drills in the basement and starts making paper crafted Easter cards, which she plans to sell at our co-op's Entrepreneur Day at the end of March.

I lose! Look at all the cards I had to draw!

Finally won one! 

After my class we head to the grocery store together and also stop at the Dollar Store to see if they have any supplies that might be useful for the cards. On the drive we listen to The Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani, which takes place during Partition in India in 1947, and discuss some of the similarities between this book and our readaloud, the common grace that God gives to all people, and what I recently learned about India in the 1940s from google.

We return from our errands in time for a snack before my daughter's online piano lesson with Outschool. I read during her lesson. I can't decide if I like my current book or not yet! Just some fun Christian fiction, which takes place in the jungles of the Amazon. I have a feeling the author hasn't been, but I haven't either so I can't tell for sure.

Next my daughter and I complete a workout with fitnessblender.com. She has been joining me since her volleyball season ended, and it has definitely kept me more accountable! We usually do a mixture of strength training with free weights and various bodyweight cardio exercises. We listen to our current audiobook during this time too.

Always nearby!

Workout Complete!

Afterwards we both take the dog out for another walk, prep dinner together, make some brownies, and try to patiently wait for my husband to get home from work. We start a new puzzle while we wait. After dinner I take my daughter to youth group, hang out with my husband, and do the dishes. My daughter is really enjoying youth group this year. The youth pastor does a great job of mixing activities middle schoolers enjoy with relevant, relatable, and memorable lessons about Jesus. I pick her up, and we all head to bed, where I read some more, decide I don't actually like the book, and realize I need to finish anyway because I want to know how the author solves some of the problems she has created.

As I mentioned above, Wednesdays tend to be the days we stay at home the most. On Tuesdays and Thursdays my daughter joins her cousins for a worldview Bible class while I teach two of her younger cousins language arts. On Mondays we attend a co-op where she takes classes in drama, art, geography, and writing, while I teach writing and assist in several other classes. On Monday nights my daughter does an on-line BSF class for Middle Schoolers. On the evenings she doesn't have an activity, we often play games, work on a puzzle, or watch a show together.

Throughout our days, I try to find the right balance between prepping my daughter for the demands of high school, enjoying the freedom we have as homeschoolers, cultivating her strengths and interests, passing on my faith legacy, reading tons of books, and enjoying these days we have together. Happy Homeschooling!

Lessons Learned from Moving

My husband and I got married between our junior and senior years of college. On graduation day he was commissioned into the military and is coming up on 19 years of active duty service this spring. It's not the life either of us expected to be living, but it is the life God had planned for us! Life in the military involves lots of moving. If I counted right, we have moved cross country 10 times, living in 14 different houses in 9 different states from Alaska to Tennessee and many places in between. I've learned a few things along the way, and I thought it would be fun to reflect on them for a bit and share them with you today.

1. God always provides.

No matter where we have lived, God has always provided us with a house to live in, friends to enjoy life with, and a church family to worship and serve with. This has looked different each time. Sometimes the house part of our move was secured well ahead of time with minimal effort, other times we drove into our new town without a place lined up and lived in a hotel for a while as we searched. Sometimes the provided house had everything and more of what we were looking for, and other times we had to keep reminding ourselves to look on the bright side as we dealt with problems and messes. But always, God provided.

The same was true for friends and a church home. Sometimes we found friends right away that we felt like we had known forever. Other times it took a while to find our people. Some of the friends God provided were only with us for a short time; others have entwined themselves in our lives, and we haven't let go even though many miles now separate us. Likewise, over the years we have worshiped with several different denominations and many different worship and ministry styles, but God has always provided a place for us to meet with Him in community, learn more about Him, and practice our faith. 

This is me in November 2006 somewhere in British Columbia en route to
a new home in Alaska!

2. People are the same everywhere.

People everywhere long for connection, a purpose, and a chance to share the joys and struggles of life with one another.

People everywhere feed one another when something really bad or really good happens.

People everywhere long for spring to come and rejoice when it arrives. It doesn't seem to matter how long or hard winters are in a given location, people still celebrate spring's arrival.

3. People are different everywhere.

The similarities mentioned above don't mean that everything is the same. I've been amazed at the different accents, worship styles, and perspectives I've encountered in my moves. I've benefited from being pushed outside of my comfort zone and from learning to value different ways of seeing things.

4. No need to compare; it all counts.

Our longest stay was 3 1/2 years, although during that time my husband deployed for a year, Oliver was born, and I got pregnant with our daughter, so it was hardly a time of stability! Our shortest stay was a temporary four month assignment, but we all count it as one of our moves, remembering the small town, recreational opportunities, and church friends we made fondly.

A few pictures from our short stay in North Dakota.

5. When in Rome! Cease the day! Bloom where you are planted. Stay in the present moment.

Or as my daughter said when I asked her what she has learned from moving, "Do things." No matter what cliche you use, my family and I have always been at our happiest when we are out and about enjoying the opportunities that are around us in a given location.

Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper. Jeremiah 29:5-7

We lived 15 minutes from the zoo in Omaha and visited at least once a month.

Watching the combines during a bike ride in Nebraska.

6. Husbands and wives might have different perspectives on what is a priority. Neither is right or wrong. This is true about more than moving.

I want to unpack the kitchen, find the library and grocery store, hang the curtains and picture frames, and go for a local hike. My husband's list of priorities upon arrival looks very different than that. Moving has highlighted for me neither of us is right or wrong about what is most important, and if we can work as a team and support one another, we reach our real goals.

7. Nothing is more frustrating than not knowing which way your kitchen cabinet opens or where the start button is on your microwave.

Seriously. Moving is stressful. Change and the unknown make for a potent combination. Instead of feeling guilty for being stressed or trying to push away my stress, I have found it to be more helpful to accept it is going to be stressful and then try to find healthy ways of dealing with my stress.

Taken during a local move in 2019. 

8. A person only has so much energy for relationships.

The worst part of moving is definitely saying good-bye to the people we have come to love. I want to put forth the energy to stay in touch with everyone and keep our relationships as close as they always were despite the distance. However, I only have so much energy to devote to relationships. New relationships at our new location take a lot of energy too, and ultimately I have to choose between clinging to my old relationships with everything I have, or being open to new relationships. It hurts for these old relationships to have to change, but they don't have to end, and the change opens up a path for growth and beauty. 

A flower for each of the beautiful people
who have entered my life for a season
as we moved around the country.

I am definitely looking forward to not moving this summer after moving the past two summers, but I hope I keep these lessons with me, as they apply to a lot more of life than just changing locations. May the God who provides make His presence known to each of us as we face changes and unknowns.

Reflections on Grief

One thing I wanted to know when I started out on my grief journey was: "What is this going to look like years later?" I couldn't picture myself or my family happy and functioning again, but I also couldn't imagine staying in the state of pain we were in forever. Obviously it is going to be different for everyone, but here's an update (5 1/2 years later) for anyone wondering the same thing and for myself to look back on some day.

This week, my breath caught and my stomach clenched when I was passed by a Subaru Ascent on the road, a mid size SUV my husband and I were looking at purchasing before my son passed away. I was driving the RAV4 we purchased instead, a compact SUV that has plenty of room for the three of us. I have no idea why the Ascent has stuck in my mind as a representation of what my family could have looked like and what it does look like, but it gets me almost every time I notice one. 

This week, I made some plans for the summer and dreamed about where some furniture will go in our house in the UP when we move up there permanently. I researched homeschool curriculum for next year and guided my daughter through the homeschool curriculum we are doing right now. 

A sketch my daughter made of a picture
I shared on here last week.

I taught a couple of writing classes, belly laughed with my family, held hands with my husband, walked the dog, exercised, played some card games, and read for pleasure. I had a hard time waking up because it is still so dark in the mornings. I caught a case of the Febuarys and was a little grumpy.

This week's Bible study was about suffering. I still would rather avoid the topic. The loss of Oliver eclipses all the other suffering I have experienced in my life and makes it hard to complete the study questions without becoming repetitive. I also resist attempts to explain the reasons why we suffer. An answer that the human mind can come up with and understand never feels sufficient for the loss of a child. My grief was stirred again, and although I know that stirred grief is a good thing, I resist.

Despite my resistance, I took some time to reflect. The final question of the week's study asked: "How has God transformed your life and faith in Him through suffering?" I took a deep breath, prayed, thought about what I had discovered through that week's homework and wrote:

He has drawn me closer to Him, given me confidence in Him and His promises, set my focus on heaven, and made me dependent on Him and aware of my weaknesses and His strength, which has broken through my perfectionism in a way nothing else has, allowing me to praise Him as Savior in humble obedience and rely on Him to provide the patient endurance and sharing of my testimony He calls me to.

I ran across these pictures of my sister and Oliver while looking for 
something else.

I enjoyed good food. I stayed inside after an ice storm and was unbothered by, and even relished, the change in plans. I enjoyed an evening alone while my daughter was at youth group and my husband was out of town for work.

While hanging out with friends, the conversation around the dinner table turned to grown-up boys and legos. I still don't want to talk about legos. I can hear the sound of them being played in my house every time it comes up in conversation, and it still makes me feel so sad.

The reality is, I still miss Oliver and deal with grief, but most of my days and weeks look and feel pretty normal. A normal I never would have thought possible five and a half years ago when every breath hurt, participating in everyday activities was challenging, and the most basic things like eating, sleeping, talking, and dreaming of the future had taken a back seat to enduring the next ten minutes. A normal I never would have thought possible three years ago when I was dealing with a lot of fear, a few good grief days in a row just meant I was due for a bad day, and I didn't like being alone. I thank God for patiently leading me, for the healing I have experienced, and the healing still to come.