Sometimes Growth is Slow

I was reminded recently that sometimes growth and healing happens so slowly we don't realize we have made progress until something out of the ordinary reveals the change in us.

Last week I traveled to Wisconsin for my grandma's funeral. My daughter stayed behind to continue plugging away with the end of the homeschool year, to work at her first job as a softball umpire, and to play in two softball games. This decision was made pretty easily. My husband and I both knew she would do well without my close supervision, and she was confident in her ability to handle things and in her desire to participate in these activities as she closes out her 8th grade school year. It struck me how different this was from a year and a half ago when I also went back to Wisconsin for my other grandma's funeral. My daughter traveled with me, and there was very little thought of her staying back with my husband while he worked. Hardly without us realizing it, she had changed into someone on the cusp of high school, taking on new tasks and ready for more independence.

As I marveled at her growth, I reflected on changes in my own life over this same time period as well. I remembered how about a year ago my daughter was preparing to go to camp with her middle school youth group. I was excited for her but very nervous for myself. I was worried about what grief, pain, and questions I might find in my head with a lot of time to myself. Ultimately, my fears were largely unfounded, but I wasn't eager to repeat the experience anytime soon. However last week, when it was time to decide if she would travel to the funeral with me or not, I wasn't worried about myself and being alone at all. I had changed too. I was less afraid of my grief, more healed from my grief, and confident to handle each day of the trip as it came.

I've been on the hunt since then, looking for other ways my family and I have been changing. The Holy Spirit is at work in each of us, sanctifying us as we await the return of Christ. Recognizing this work gives us an opportunity to thank and praise God and deepens our trust in Him and His love and care for us.

Phil 2:13 For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Reflections on Holy Week

I wanted to follow up my Lenten post with one about Easter. My fingers hover on the keyboard, but they don't know what to write. Easter is overwhelming. It seems impossible to convey all it means to me or to write a fresh reflection on the significance of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. I am left with a few pictures of lego representations of Holy Week, courtesy of my daughter and two of her friends, and some scattered thoughts, Bible verses, and song lyrics. Thankfully Easter reminds us that God can redeem all things and He has completed the work, so I put the scattered thoughts on the page and hit publish anyway.

Palm Sunday

Palm Sunday begins the celebration of Easter. It has had a special place in my heart, as my daughter chose to be baptized two years ago on Palm Sunday. It is a joy to remember her baptism each year as we also lift palms of praise to our Savior.

Palm Sunday also reminds me of the song "Hosanna" by Paul Baloche (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMBDWG9tseU). The church we attended in eastern Washington sang that song every Palm Sunday while the children walked up and down the aisles waving palm branches.

Holy Thursday

On Holy Thursday we are called to remember. We remember God's Passover as He freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, and we remember Jesus as the ultimate Passover Lamb who died to take away the sins of the world. We remember a Heavenly Father who knows what it is to lose a Son, we remember a Son who suffered on our behalf, and we remember sin and forgiveness and current and future restoration.

Holy Thursday is also a call to give thanks: for an end to the curse, for an invitation to the table, for daily bread, for a family of believers, for grace, for strength for another day.

Luke 22:19-20
And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, says, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant of my blood, which is poured out for you."

Isaiah 53:5-6
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Good Friday

When my son, Oliver, died I gained a greater understanding of Romans 6:23a: "The wages of sin is death." Before Oliver's death, when I read this verse I think I pictured the death of an old person. Sad, yes, but also sort of the natural order of things. After Oliver died, I had a new picture. An out of order death. A devastating death. A gaping hole that couldn't be filled. It has created in me a greater understanding of my own sinfulness, but hopefully also a greater appreciation for Jesus' sacrifice and an intense longing for heaven.

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 19:30
When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us by Stuart Townsend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oba_KXkf9qY

Holy Saturday

Winter in Michigan was all fun and games for me until I was still  
wearing my winter jacket during the second week of April.
Now I am over it! Still waiting for spring!

On Holy Saturday, we wait. We know the promises God had made, and yet we live before the time of their final fulfillment. We know we will be with our loved ones again some day, and yet today, we have to get up without them and do the tasks God has set before us. Eternity is in our hearts, but the floors still get covered in dog hair and my family wants to eat dinner every single night.

Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Psalm 130:5-8
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Easter Sunday

Shortly after Oliver died, my daughter was searching through his desk for something, and came across a popsicle stick creation he had made at VBS just a few weeks before. We mounted it against an old shirt of his and treasure it to this day. The verse reads:

John 20:31
But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

I love his handwriting, the reminder of Oliver's faith, and the message of salvation through belief in Jesus. Most of all I love the clear declaration that because of Jesus' death and resurrection we have life: hopeful, spirit-filled life here on earth and eternal life to come with Jesus in heaven.

John 12:24
Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.