Where Am I?

When I attended my brother's wedding a few weeks ago, I was able to connect with some family members I haven't talked to in a while who have been reading my blog. And it came to my attention I have been a little too confusing about where I am and what I have been up to. So let's go ahead and rectify that!

In the beginning of July, my family and I moved from Kentucky to the Detroit Metro area of Michigan. My husband is stationed here with the Army. It is a big career milestone assignment, and I am proud of his accomplishments and amazed we get to be closer than we have ever been to our parents during our time with the Army. We found a great house to rent near my husband's aunt, two of his cousins, and their families. His cousins also homeschool, and we feel very blessed to have ready-made friends to do school, sports, and family life with.

As we move again and again with the military, my husband and I have been dreaming of and looking for a place of our own in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. (If you are not from the midwest, Michigan is made of two peninsulas. The lower peninsula is surrounded by Lake Michigan to the west and Lake Huron to the east. These two great lakes are connected by a strait in the north. If you cross the strait on a bridge, you are now in the Upper Peninsula, which is known for its forests, Lake Superior, and yooper accents). My husband was born in the UP, we both went to college in the UP, and anytime we visit we breathe deeper and want to stay forever. This summer we purchased a small house, large barn, and forty acres of fields and woods seven miles from my in-laws and fifteen miles from Lake Superior in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We will be visiting as often as we can while we live in the Detroit Metro, and God willing will settle there permanently someday.

We have LOVED our summer in Michigan. For so many years of my adult life I have lived somewhere that feels too hot and/or humid for my liking. It still shocks me most days when I go outside and find it isn't uncomfortable (and if it is we just jump in the pool, so spoiled). My mom recently sent me a text with a new word that she learned: zugunruhe, the restless urge to migrate. That's not what I am feeling as summer winds down. Instead I want to grab hold of each beautiful day and keep it for a little while longer. I want to embrace and remember each moment. I love fall and winter, but I am not ready for this summer to end. I remember feeling that way as a child. We would go on a shorter camping trip in both June and July and then a week long camping trip in August. I would always cry as our August trip was winding down, not wanting the fun of swimming, fishing, hiking, and campfires to be over. My mom started planning a weekend camping trip in the fall so I would have more fun to look forward to. I think I better do the same for myself this year!

As summer transitions to fall, my husband has been busy with work, and my daughter and I have slowly been adding in our school year activities. First, we started our school subjects that only require the two of us, then her volleyball season started, and then the co-op we joined began last week. We are planning to start math with her cousins next week and a Bible study the week after that. It's always overwhelming getting all the spinning plates into the air at the beginning of a semester, but I think it is going to be a good mix of individual, small group, and large group work and play!

It feels like a lot of things really fell into place for us this summer. We just keep pinching ourselves and saying thank you to the God who is worthy of our trust in the mountains and the valleys. When I think back to those foggy days right after Oliver passed and how impossible it was to dream of a future, I just stand in awe that somehow God brought us to this spot. And yet there is a lingering sadness. It is a weird feeling to know that more good days are still ahead as are new challenges and struggles, to be so grateful for what we have, to want to hold onto these moments forever, and yet to wish I could trade all the success and fulfilled dreams for just a moment or two with Oliver. 

One thing we learned from the loss of Oliver is we only get today, this moment. Where am I? I'm in a backyard swimming pool eating watermelon and shivering because the nights are getting cooler and the water temperatures along with. I'm driving busy, seemingly endless, unfamiliar roads to get to a homeschool volleyball game mostly on time. I'm correcting science tests for the first time because she's in 8th grade now and has transcripts in her future. Where am I? Hopefully right where I need to be.